I hope you're ready for the biggest (or at least most wtf-is-going-on-in-the-world) technological advance of the century. You can now charge your electronics by masturbation. Yup, the dark days of cranking one out simply for pleasure/boredom are over.
The computer scientists at Pornhub -- of course THEY have scientists -- have developed a wearable that will allow you to charge your elctronics as you violate your own body. Cool. *laughs like Butt-head.
And the name of this ground-shaking new invention... THE WANKBAND! It's all part of their way to save the planet, one jerk session at a time.
We truly live in an amazing time. A sex-obsessed amazing time.